South Park Ships Go Bowling
by Sakazaki-Chan
Summary: For lack of a better title, this is what I've decided to name it(for now). *ACCEPTING REQUESTS* Yeah, please fav/follow/review.
1. Coffee and Cigarettes (Pete x Tweek)

_Hi! Firstly, I'd like to thank you for checking out my story! Basically, I'll do stories based on the ships you like, ya know. I like writing, and I'm better with one-shots. Cus, like, time management and stuff. Every story is gonna have to do with a bowling alley. It's kind of an inside joke with Majuscule Milquetoast._

_Okay, so I don't have a lot of rules besides this:_

_I __**will not **__do these ships:_

_Style_

_K2_

_Stenny_

_Everything else, I'm fine with. _

_Also, you can recommend me any crack pairing. ANY. I love crack pairings pretty much to death, so the more you recommend, the happier I'll be._

_I don't particularly like straight pairings, but I'll do them. I will, swear on me mum._

_Okay, so this is a crack pairing that I saw on tumblr a few weeks ago and I __love __it._

_OOPS, I FORGOT I WAS DOING THIS ABOUT A BOWLING ALLEY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME, ALL THE OTHERS ONES ARE._

_This is called Coffee and Cigarettes (Tweek x Pete)_

_Also, I had no idea where to go with this, so it's gonna suck._

* * *

Never would anyone in South Park think this was possible. Pete Richards(the red-head goth with the face covered in pock marks) was going out with Tweek Tweak (aka the twitchy coffee-kid). Everyone stared, and I mean everyone.

Now here they were, at the Village Inn, sipping coffee while everyone stared.

"P-P-Pete, why are they staring at us?! Hyagah!?"

"Oh my God, chill out. I'm _so_ used to this."

"R-Really?!"

"Yes, now drink your coffee." The red-head dragged on his cigarette and looked over at his date. His usually hard expression softened as he saw the little blonde boy shake with nervousness. "Hey, I'm nervous, too." And he really was. He was perspiring underneath his very very thin veil of foundation, and he totally needed a trip to the bathroom with his Speedstick.

"Just- people are looKING! They'll tell the underpants gnomes where I am!"

Pete sighed. "No, Tweek. You're fine."

* * *

"Oh my God, no way."

"What?"

"Pete's betraying us and dating a.." he cringed. "Regular person."

Henrietta looked up, her eyes narrowed. "Oh my Gawd, he is. He's totally going out with a Barbie wannabe!" (They could only see the back of Tweek's head, so our darling little coffee-nut's a girrrrllll).

"Oh my God, no way."

"I feel an unfathomable sadness brewing in my soul." Firkle sighed unhappily, picking up his white mug to chug the hot sludge down.

"Oh my Gawd, they actually ordered food? He's totally betraying everything Goths stand for!"

"Goths can order food at restaurants, Henrietta." Firkle sighed, wondering why exactly he hung out with these nerds.

"Really? I thought only middle-class white families did that."

"They're getting up. We'll wait a few minutes, then follow them. Okay?" Michael looked at all of them, his eyebrow slightly raised. The other two nodded, their heads falling in let's-not-show-how-excited-we-are-to-see-that-Pete's-got-a-girlfriend sync.

* * *

They were at a bowling alley. A fucking bowling alley.

"Why is he doing things that middle-class Americans do with his Barbie wannabe?"

"I dunno, but he's totally betraying Goth Code." Henrietta glared at the happy couple renting out the shoes.

"There isn't even a Goth Code."

"There is now. Holy shit, that's Tweek Tweak!"

"What? The coffee guy's son?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh my God, no wayyyy" Michael's black rimmed eyes were wide.

"He's gay. He's fuckin' gay, guys, and we didn't even know."

"I bet they aren't even talking about death and darkness."

* * *

"Tweek, relax."

"Ngah, this ball is so HEAvy!"

"Yeah, it's a fucking bowling ball." Pete sighed and flipped his hair. He had picked a black ball, which naturally was the heaviest, so he had no idea why Tweek was bitching.

"Pete, WHY ARE YOU SO -nyagh- mEAN?!"

"I'm not mean; I'm Goth. Jeez."

"There's a difference between gOTH and being mean, Pete!" The blonde's eye twitched as he looked towards his date struggling with his ball. "Jesus Christ, Pete! Just get a lighter ball!"

"No, the ball symbolizes my inner struggles. My dad treats me like shit, then expects me to go fishing with him for some 'bonding time'. It's black and desolate, much like my soul."

"I like yellow."

"That's cool." Pete rolled his ball, earning himself a strike. "Yes! I mean, uuhhh, I don't care."

And that's pretty much how the rest of the date went.

_Okay, so, what'd ya think? Like I said, I'm accepting requests!_


	2. Dares Suck (Kind ofClyde x Butters)

_**Alright, this fanfiction is for SerendipityRain711! She asked for Clutters, and by God, this beautiful young woman is going to get Clutters! She's helped me like, so much, so she deserves this!**_

* * *

_Rules for submitting a request, if you want to submit one._

_1.I __**will not **__do these ships:_

_Style_

_K2_

_Stenny_

_Everything else, I'm fine with. _

_2. Has to do with a bowling alley._

_3. I dunno, please read it/fav/follow/review? IDFK._

* * *

_Also, you can recommend me any crack pairing. ANY. I love crack pairings pretty much to death, so the more you recommend, the happier I'll be._

_I don't particularly like straight pairings, but I'll do them. I will, swear on me mum._

_This is called "Dares Suck" ((kind of)Clyde x Butters)_

* * *

"Hey, Clyde. Pssssst, Clyde!" Craig furiously tapped on his best friend's shoulder. The noirette looked back at Token and smirked before tapping again.

"Yeah?" The brunette turned around, his fake leather jacket crinkling slightly from the movement. He brushed his brown hair out of his eyes, trying to make himself appear cute to all the girls in class...except...he failed, miserably.

"We heard Butters has a crush on you." Token and Crew could barely contain their laughter, but poor little Clyde had no idea. His big brown eyes widened, a blush creeping on his face.

"W-Well, uhh, who doesn't?" He winked, clicking his tongue in that weird way people do.

"You should ask him out. I totaly recommend bowling." Token chimed in, his face alight with glee. "I heard you took Cartman _**and**_ Bebe there. Seems like a popular dating place." He chuckled, hiding his extreme showing of teeth behind his hand.

"Well, I did not take Cartman on a date." Clyde blushed, his ears turning a deeper shade of red than his face. "We just went, casually, as friends."

"Then, could you possibly explain the _**intense**_ make out session you had half-way through one of the games?" Craig droned, his eyes bored.

"yEAH! It was pretty -nyagh- gross too! I saw lOTS of tongue!" Tweek chimed in from behind Craig, his eye slightly twitching. Token glared at the boy and delivered a very, very hard slap to his already crazed looking face.

"You weren't supposed to tell him, asshole!"

"OH! Oops! Never mind, I didn't see a thing!" The little blonde's face turned redder than a tomato, and he hid behind his hands.

"I don't even like Butters!" Clyde looked upset for some inane reason, and his eyes were watering.

"I **dare** you to ask the queer out." Craig's tone was teasing, though his face was serious.

"And what if I don't?"

"We'll tell everyone about you and Cartman." Token smiled in the most evil way possible. Clyde groaned, extremely pissed at himself and the dumbasses he called his "friends".

"Cartman and I aren't even official yet, so no one would care unless we were fucking during recess on the monkey bars." Clyde's rather nasal voice carried over to a group of five very, very special boys.

Kyle scrunched his nose. "Huh, the two fat-asses are gonna make it official." Butters, having no idea that Token and Co., decided to be assholes, smiled ever so happily.

"Good job, Eric, buddy! I'm glad you two can be together!" He cheered and leaned in for a hug from the rather large boy. Cartman, of course, punched him in the face.

"Fuckin' fag."

"B-But Eric, aren't you a f-f-fag?" The blonde's blue eyes were wide.

"Ye-NO!"

Anyway, back to Token and Co., Clyde has just been dared to ask our cutie pie blonde baby out. He swallowed his pride, swallowed his fears that his almost-boyfriend was going to see him ask another guy out, and fast approached Butters.

"Hey, Butters." the brunette scratched his hair, fucking pissed at his "friends" for making him do this.

Butters turned to Clyde, a huge smile on his face. "H-Hey, Clyde!"

Clyde rolled his eyes, an impatient look on his face. "Can I talk to you...over there?" He moved his head back towards a dark corner. Butters smiled aloofly and nodded his head.

"W-Why sure, Clyde." Butters followed behind Clyde, turning back to smile at Cartman. The fat boy snorted, but worriedly followed them after they turned their backs. "S-So what's up, Clyde?"

"Do you wanna go bowling sometime?" Clyde scratched his head, looking to the side. He was looking for Cartman, he _definitely_ didn't want his future boyfriend to see a stupid dare gone wrong.

"W-Well, uh, what about Eric?" Butters looked at the ground, slightly frowning, which was pretty weird.

"Um...he's like...not my boyfriend? So do you want to?" Clyde bit his lip, looking to the side. Oh my God, he was going to kill them.

"A-As fun as that sounds, Clyde, I'll have to say no. Good luck with you and Eric, though." He smiled at bit and walked back towards his friends. Cartman's face fell, feeling betrayed. He fast approached his love interest, his face contorted in some new sort of animal rage.

"WHAT THE HELL, CLAYHDE?!" The fat brunette was enraged.

Clyde shrugged, his hair tickling his neck. "It was a dare. Do you wanna go bowling again?"

Cartman smiled. "Sure."

* * *

**OMG, I'M SO SORRY THIS WASN'T CLUTTERS, SERENDIPITYRAIN711. IT'S JUST KINDA HARD TO WRITE CLUTTERS WHEN I'M OBSESSED WITH CLYDEMAN AND I WAS IN THE MIDST OF WRITING ONE FOR THIS STORY**

**BUT IT'S OKAY, RIGHT?**

**I'M SORRY**

**I'M SO SORRY**


End file.
